Cactus Legs

Front: Granny Panties, Cactus Legs, Spending Amnesia, Cray Cray. I Love Everything About You.

Inside: (blank)

Back: 

Granny Panties: Giant underpants that women wear once the initial thrill of sexy lingerie is gone.

Cactus Legs: The feeling of a woman's legs as a result of not having shaved.

Spending Amnesia: Failure to recall the price of an awesomely expensive item, particularly when confronted by your significant other.

Cray Cray: A person or individual who has gone completely mental, on an emotional or physical level. Abandoning all reason or good judgement.